5:16? Or Not?

"making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:16

I signed up for the 5:16 club a month or so ago. The idea stems from wanting to be a Proverbs 31 woman: "She gets up while it is still dark," Proverbs 31:15.

So you get up around 5 a.m. Or at 5:16 a.m., to be more realistic. And you spend your time in study and prayer and preparation for the day, to become more productive and more like the woman God created you to be. Check this button out if you're interested...





Oh, I can so use this! I need that time to connect. That time to get out of the foggy haze that surrounds my daze, er, days. I need to grab God's lifeline every morning.

So I tried.

The first morning, I got up at 5:42 a.m. I didn't use an alarm because I didn't want to wake anybody. I tiptoed through the house.

Five minutes later, my girl was up. She wanted to be with me. I put her back to bed, and got back to my morning thing after about 15 minutes.

Baby girl got up again! In less than five minutes this time. So I gave up. I went back to bed with the baby. Finally I managed to get away at 7:30 a.m. And she slept in until 9 a.m. - yeah!

So I DID get an extra 1/2 hour from the deal, since mornings usually start at 8 a.m.

But then I got sick, and she got sick, and we just really needed our sleep.

And since then, the trend is that she is always up within five minutes of when I get up. It doesn't matter when. So there's no "extra" time gained by getting up early, just a cranky tired baby. Help!

Repose of the Soul

"Today, act as if you are a woman with repose of the soul. Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile. No matter how busy you are, don't rush your encounters with co-workers, family, and friends. Speak softly. Listen attentively. Act as if every conversation you have is the most important thing on your mind today. Look at your children and your partner in the eyes when they talk to you. Stroke the cat, caress the dog. Lavish love on every living being you meet."
-Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy

How I would love to take this challenge on.

Right now I feel like I'm in the active stages of labor. So focused on just surviving each moment that I lose track of everything around me - all the details, all the beauty. Life is overwhelming. I am constantly behind. Each step is a struggle, and it doesn't seem to be taking me forward at all.

It's not that life is all about me. I'm not such a terrible person that I only think of myself. I want to reach out, help others, be a friend. But I am in such pain that I can't get beyond it. I am drowning.

I think - if only I can get enough sleep. If only I can get some time to myself. To think and meditate. To get out of the haze. Yet life keeps happening, my child keeps moving, the house keeps leaning towards chaos, and I have to struggle to keep up.

I long for the transition stage. When all of a sudden, in an instant, my surroundings come into focus, and I can see what's going on once again. There is still pain, but I know that it's for good. And I know where I'm going. And I know that the pain will be over soon. I can see beyond myself. I can love others.

I long for repose. But I don't know how to get there.

Heritage

I’ve done the FlyLady thing. I love her like crazy and appreciate the work she’s doing in transforming people’s lives. I still do Kelly’s missions.

But I’ve gone through decluttering, and now I feel empty. Light, free, and empty. So my focus now is on filling my life with things I love. Perhaps that is just the next step after decluttering, and I never would have gotten here without the decluttering.

I love the idea of a hope chest. I never had any such thing. But now I’d like to buy one to give to my daughter on her 16th birthday. As I find things meaningful to me, I’d like to put them inside. Books, framed sayings, etc. Maybe toys that were special to her but she’s outgrown. The afghan from her great grandma. Heritage items. Items for when she sets up house. Books for when she becomes engaged. A special apron. Little luxuries that will make her feel special.

There’s a worried feeling in me that what I find meaningful, she may just see as clutter. Somehow she’ll need to find her own balance between what is clutter and what she loves, and I can’t force my values on her.

But I can gift her with even more meaningful things than a hope chest. I can share sunrises and moonlit walks with her. We can smell flowers together. More than anything else I could give her, I want her to experience the joy of living life in the moment, finding beauty in the small things, making memories that last, and building a friendship with that Friend who will never leave her.